A Lesson In Manners

Yesterday began as any other day in our household.  My husband left for work and I got my daughter ready for Pre-K.  After I dropped her off, I came home and did some housework and at 10:30 I went back to the school to pick her up.  All was good until we stopped at Starbucks.  I was getting a tall brewed coffee and I asked Bridget if she wanted something.  She responded with, "A vanilla bean scone."  So I ordered one.  Well, she decided that she wanted three of them and I told her that I thought one was plenty.  She pulled the "Hmmp!" attitude, which I ignored.

By the time we got home, all was well again.  We sat down to work on our handwriting lesson.  It is our second one since she had swimming lessons on Tuesday and a play date.  We reviewed the 'Jump Frog' capital letters and moved onto the next exercise.  She had trouble with the U, M, and W.  This was mostly due to trying to write them too quickly, which made them sloppy.  I erased them and she did them again.  It took about three tries, but she finally did it.

The lesson ended with an unhappy Bridget because she wanted to continue in the workbook and I told her no.  I explained we would work on the next lesson tomorrow.  I suggested she get a blank notebook and practice the letters we had already learned, but that wasn't what she wanted to do.  I ignored her when she started pouting and I went into the kitchen to fix lunch.

About five minutes later, I said "Lunch is ready." and put her plate on the table.

She came over to the table and sat down with arms crossed and a frown still on her face.  I decided that 'that' was that.  It was time we reviewed good manners because rude manners are not tolerated.  I proceeded to remind her of the proper way to respond when I bring her lunch is to say "Thank you Mommy."  I picked up the plate and told her we would try it again.  She didn't like that.  She stood up and moved away from the table.  So, I picked up her plate and cup and said, "Hmmm, let me know when you are ready for lunch."

Of course taking the plate away led to her crying and walking out of the room.  I called after her, "I'll be in the family room if you need me and I'll leave you alone because I know that's what you prefer."  I added that I understood that the mumbling to herself was her way of working through things.

Ha! That did it.  She turned around and came back into the room and sat down at the table.  I offered her a tissue and she grabbed it out of my hand.  I said, "That is bad manners.  Hand me the Kleenex please and let's try again."  She refused and I made a quick decision that this was a battle I was going to win.  I pulled the tissue until it shredded, but I got it all.  Victory!!  Next, she started coughing.  Coughing is a tactic she has used to get sympathy and a drink. 

I responded with, "Oh dear, you are coughing.  Your drink is on the table."

"Thank you Mommy." she said softly as she reached for her drink and took a sip.  "I'm sorry."

I smiled and simply asked, "Are you ready for lunch."

"Yes."

I placed the plate on the table.  She sat down, looked up at me and said, "Thank you Mommy."

Kissing her forehead, I said, "You're welcome.  I love you Bridget."  We ate our lunch and the afternoon was better. 

It won't be our last quarrel I'm sure and I really do try to carefully pick my battles, but this one had been brewing for some time.  Don't get me wrong, she is a darling little girl who is well behaved most of the time; especially in public.  I have noticed that when she is struggling for independence, she becomes a bit...well...rude.  I suppose she thinks that is the way to voice her opinion.  We usually give her options and encourage her to discuss the situation; however, this must be done politely.  And when it's not and we have reminded her about being polite and she still insists on  rude behavior then we have a lesson in manners.